One of A Million Ways to Die in the West is to give away all your jokes in the promos leading up to your film's debut. May 29, 2014. https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_110222, A Million Ways to Die in the West Screenplay, A Million Ways to Die in the West's quotes, https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_quotes_110222. When she shoots, short cuts to the gallery show 10 targets, but 12 shots are heard and Anna wins the prize for perfect score. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. 1:31. Foy: My dear, they're practically Chinese! Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Conversations are opinions of our readers and are subject to the, The Toronto Star and thestar.com, each property of Toronto Star Albert: Oh. There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week. He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been.. RELATED: 10 Funniest Quotes From Ted While A Million Ways to Die in the West was nowhere . A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Sh**ty Showdown, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - If You've Only Got a Moustache, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - You Really Do Have a Death Wish. Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you, angry drunk people, hungry animals, outlaws, the doctor." Albert gives a breakdown of just a few of the million ways to die in the West. Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. Albert: Okay, all right, get ready. Apple Inc. [Albert notices a glow from inside a building and peeks inside], [It is Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" working on the DeLorean, which is under a tarp; Doc notices Albert and covers up the car]. Cochise: There is an ancient proverb among my people: Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness is to take drugs in a group. As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. Old Stump Bluegrass . Anna: God, why are the Indians always so mad? After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds. Albert cant abide the mindless brutality, appalling hygiene and constant danger of life in Old Stump, the tumbleweed town he reluctantly calls home: Everything out here thats not you wants to kill you.. 116 minutes. There may indeed be A Million Ways to Die in the West, as the title of Seth MacFarlanes parody western asserts. permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. Yet the screenplay he penned with Family Guy/Ted hands Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild is slapdash at best. But theres just one path to his infantile humour. 27 May 2014 By creating an account, you agree to the Star Newspapers Limited and/or its licensors. Indian Chief: (after Albert's drug trip hallucination; in Athabaskan) Did you shoot the black condor and then kicked it in the balls? , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. 'A Million Ways to Die in the West': Inside the 'Mustache Song'. Anna: Oh, thank God, 'cause I was like ah [mimics gun to her head] , kill me. CookiePolicy A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - He Drank the Whole Bowl! He was Methodist, I'm half Jewish. I mean, sure it's faster than the Pony Express, but what good is it if you can't send a picture of your dick? A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. Ditto the overdone sideshow of Sarah Silvermans energetic town prostitute bonding with Giovanni Ribisis bible-thumping virginal shoemaker. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put . Albert: [Being offered a pot cookie by Anna] The last time somebody gave me one of these, I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind. Like. A Million Waysto Die in the West is a gross-out Gunsmoke, with MacFarlane directing an old-timey facsimile of his modern self in the lead role of Albert, a cowardly sheep herder in the Arizona of 1882. Comedy 2014 1 hr 55 min. Anna: Oh God, that was never gonna work out anyway. And, uh, wild animals. Quotes.net. Holy sh*t. To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country required that a man be bold, fearless, and tough as iron. 2014 Back Lot Music. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. Narrator: Some people are born into the wrong time and place. Albert: I'm not the hero. A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) - Plot Summary - IMDb Overly crude jokes and gross-out humor drag comedy down. Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. Albert: and all I had to do was distract you while the poison entered your bloodstream. Chinese Date: How should I know? Comedy, Romance, Western. "There it is!" "Dear God, look at it!" "It's beautiful!". Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage, Link to RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes. MacFarlane certainly seems to embrace this contradiction. If You've Only Got a Moustache. 10 Funniest Quotes From A Million Ways To Die In The West A Million Ways to Die in the West rides into theaters . A Million Ways to Die in the West - Rotten Tomatoes Albert: Oh, f*** that. His comedy might be irreverent, but the key to success in a musical number, MacFarlane says, is treating your material with the utmost seriousness. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. 2014 Back Lot Music. Anna: [to Louise] How can you be so blind with eyes that big?! Edward: Yeah. After backing out of a duel and losing his girlfriend, sheep farmer Albert slowly rebuilds his self-respect with the help of a married woman. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. If MacFarlane had spent as much time crafting jokes as he did writing the lyrics for the amusing title tune (sung by country ace Alan Jackson) and the catchy mid-film number The Mustache Song, A Million Ways to Die in the West would have been a much better movie. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. Republication or distribution of this content is A Million Ways to Die in the West | Fandango 15. A Million Ways to Die in the West | Apple TV Opens Friday at major theatres 14A. WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Tries To Teach Albert How To Shoot, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Foy Mocks Albert On Their Way To The Shooting Gallery, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Meets Albert At The Dance. 2 likes. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. Entertainment Weekly may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. It's like they lose the power to innovate because they're staring at the stick hoop all day. Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Charlize Theron. After Seth MacFarlane's directorial debut Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. Support. and the Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night. Anna: I'm a little cocky. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. She neglects to tell him that shes married to the outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), an infamous and jealous gunslinger who regularly contributes to that million-ways body count. Seth MacFarlane's western spoof A Million Ways to Die in the West includes nods to such genre classics as The Searchers and Unforgiven. Copyright 2023 Meredith Corporation. Millie: You're okay with your girlfriend screwing, like, 15 different guys every day and getting paid to do it? Old Stump Bluegrass. 1, Independence Day: Resurgence (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hail, Caesar! The shooting gallery at the fair has only 10 targets (2 rows of five), but Anna shoots 12 for a perfect score. Albert: You know what else can kill you? Opens Friday at major . But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. 1:31. A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American western comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane, who wrote the screenplay with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. In Seth MacFarlanes A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the films best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny Mustache Song., I do always feel like everything that I do should have some sort of musical component, MacFarlane told EW. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast moving tumbleweed. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's Albert: Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. [stammers] It's a weather experiment. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Eddie's Girl, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Things Could Be a Lot Worse, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Eddie's First Time. I never see him. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! It's 1882 in Arizona, the heartland of the American West. Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. Hear Seth MacFarlane's 'A Million Ways to Die in the West' theme song

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