I suspect answers can be highly different depending on the cultural context. And yes, some people take outright rejection very badly. One night, I got all dressed up (hair in hot curlers and everything) and went to the drive thru to see him. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. An awkward situation she is placed in repeatedly by men, through no doing of her own and with no way to prevent it, due to their sex drives. *Setting aside the whole discussion about what is and isnt not creepy or inappropriate. On top of all the other overlapping chances of something else being in the way. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. I had to go back to the store later that week to pick something up. LOL did you really think one person could eat that much corn?. It's her job to be nice to you, don't mistake this for her giving hints that she's interested in you. So I definitely dont think its fair to allege that Im not empathetic here Im reflecting on my own feelings as well as those Ive heard from others of both genders, or as you say, putting myself in their shoes.. We've just spoken briefly a few times i doubt she remember who i am, "i have won million dollars lottery in cash and i can't count them! Oh sorry, I'm a little distracted, I'm trying to get in the zone. Ill text you! and then not do it. Even if you dont mean for this to be the case, you are in a position of power when you are his client, and its inappropriate to initiate something like this when youre not on equal terms. But see how youve mentally filed this under social interactions? Whatever you decide, I wish you luck. Why is this even an issue. WebYour a cashier right? Thats a great idea. To obtain resin in Conan Exiles, players must collect its in-game nodes from the environment near trees and other plants. When lindy hopping, it is important to use positive body language and express excitement and enthusiasm. That's a pretty good indication something's happening. Learning how to read the defense, Al Haitham Genshin is 8 years old. If you ever finish early and want to join me for a cup of coffee, let me know. Something that puts the ball in the employees court without putting pressure for them to come up with a polite on-the-spot rejection. The guys I know that routinely hit on female retail/service workers do it in the blink of an eye the second they see a pretty face. The ball is in her field as of now and she'll be the one to decide if she wants to play. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Always be on your best behavior around them in the future. isn't found by making her uncomfortable. Instead of just insisting youre a dude and this is how YOU think, maybe try putting yourself in other peoples shoes? These results are similar to where the pay gap stood in 2002, when Yes, retail employees get hit on a lot, but on the flip side, I always thought working retail was fun because I got to meet some cute guy customers. The guys who hit on me were really gross and it was quite a turn off. Be prepared, your number might end up in the bin with a dramatic gesture, putting you on the spot right then and there, you might be labeled a creep and denied access to the store, depending on how much this tends to upset her. Youre just engaging through a different means of communication rather than face to face. Always follow up after the date if you had fun spending time together, even if it was just for one night! There is nothing in OP's post to suggest for example that he lives in a large city where the cashier is expected to be little more than a machine element. And the safest answer is still Dont do it.. I felt like if something could prod him to say that, I must not have imagined it.). Webit takes some time and money to do this.. first come in the shop often (you probably had that part so you can skip that if you like) so she will notice you but yeah.. if she isn't looking at you because she has costumers to help, you still need to get her attention in some way.. you could humiliate yourself by tossing things on the floor or use a But its not an ideal world and sexual entitlement doesnt always come in obvious, high pressure, sexually explicit packages. If she is interested, she might ask you. When you are in customer service dealing with many people every shift, and are attractive enough for a significant number to be attracted to you, even 5% of men being jerks is enough to result in negative consequences on a regular basis. I may or may not have drunk texted him after that and needless to say, we never ended up dating. Also OP, I wonder if you have looked for him on online dating sites? No! It is a safe bet that they're all just doing their job. I think as long as its very very casual (coffee date, maybe a museum) and said with a cheerful smile (and maybe a no pressure, I dont want to put you on the spot thrown in there) theres no real harm. ask From a quick skim of the comments, it seems like Im in the minority opinion here (Im a man myself), but two things: 1. I realized Im just one data point, but I am actually friends with many people who Ive met through work. That doesnt mean that you should never do it or that it never works out, but it does mean thatif youre going to do it, its key to approachit in a low-key way that makes it really, really easy for the personto say no. Talk about power dynamics. But, I got hit on so frequently, I would have loved to stop it. Is "I didn't think it was serious" usually a good defence against "duty to rescue"? is it unprofessional to have hickeys at work? I dont think most men handle being turned down poorly. Your a cashier right? You dont know this person, they dont know you! If she does just ask her if she'd ever consider having coffee with you. man its hard to talk to girls without being a creeper ! No real point to this expect to share that I have now been enlightened :). 2. I've never seen you before." Al Haitham Genshin is an accomplished actor, producer, and media personality from India. I really enjoy talking to you here and Ive thought it might be nice to do it outside of work sometime. Remember that she has to be somewhat friendly with you, don't force her to behave friendly against her will with someone she sees as a creep. JovanHuttonPulitzer #SaveAmericaFromSocialism on Twitter: but to me, Id take being asked out as a form of flattery, even if I wasnt interested This crap makes me want to flip tables. If the girl laughs, half the work is done. Video games. I worked in restaurants for years and later on in customer service and sales. Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. It shows a level of awareness that not everyone seems to possess in these situations. it's happened to me before, and the guy ended up being my bf for 2 yrs awww.. that was surely sweet. There joined a new cashier in my local food product market. My Question is how can I ask for her number, or ask her out for a coffe while she is on The only thing you know about them is youre attracted to them physically, and they are friendly when youre in the shop (which should be the standard for any customer service staff). This shouldn't stop you from being nice to the cashier, or the post/tax office girl. Important: you give your number and dont ask for his number, and you do it on paper so that you dont need to text to his number or handle his phone to input anything. and in that case, don't answer in a way that creates the expectation. But I dont think that means that they shouldnt do it. But STILL. @Kidburla From France. Because of that, it can be easy to mistakenly misinterpret them doing their job (being nice to you) as social/romantic interest. I ran into him one time outside of work and he talked to me most of the night while his girlfriend sat in the corner and pouted. I would even say that depending on the size and style of the shop (i.e. Holy cats, it was painful to watch him. To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers. August 26, 2005 1:13 AM Subscribe (1) Say something that clearly demonstrates that you like her. Its normal. Many of the people who perpetrate this type of thing wholeheartedly believe that theyre having a fun, reciprocal conversation while the target is thinking, oh my god, Im not allowed to stop being nice to this person but ewwwwwww.. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Only ask the gent out during his break or free time. How to ask cashier out for date - Interpersonal Skills Stack At all the boring customer service jobs Ive ever had, my co-workers and I flirted recreationally with customers and each other. A: The best way to gain confidence is to feel confident and know what to say. Dont forget to sit with a coin between your knees! You need to determine if hes being friendly because its his job, because hes naturally flirty, or because hes actually interested in you. We were students and had a few regulars known to follow us around the stacks while were working (one would mutter under his breath the whole time, we thought it mightve been poetry ugh). They dont look for or even care if they get a non-verbal clue she is interested. how in the heck are people supposed to meet these days if you dont want to do so at bars or online? Correct If youre a regular, you can talk to her casually until she gets used to seeing you. How do I tactfully ask a close friend out? If a Dont say, Sure sounds good! Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Let me apologize in advance for all the guys out there who do this. One dude at the bank I worked at in college asked me out over the intercom in the drivethru tellers lane and then got angry because I smiled and wished him a nice day whenever he came by. WebBe well dressed. Who, granted, recognized her because she was a regular, and they had a bit of teasing banter going on which maybe had an undertone of flirting? So try some small-talk and see where it takes you, but be polite and do not ask for a date up front. However, there are a few things you should keep in mind before asking for a cashiers number. Last sentence should read: Id be flattered, even if I was NOT interested. I also want to say DONT DO IT! Because its *just* flirting? You don't want to be banned for harassing employees who didn't want to date you. How To Get Resin Conan Exiles? I was a good 10 years older than him AND he knew I was engaged because after the first incident I made sure to mention it. Ive seen a lot of this sentiment in this thread (Im biased; Im female) and I just want to say: A lot of women dont find being hit on or asked out by a strange man flattering, especially if the most conversation theyve had with them is either mundane chitchat or about the customers order/purchase. It doesnt matter anyway, because it will never ever happen again. Above all else, be respectful, kind and courteous no matter what their response is. Thanks, this was something that Id been considering too! Therefore, don't ask her when her shift ends, or to meet in the rapey spot at the back of the parking lot, after her shift, when it's all dark and gloomy. Canadian of Polish descent travel to Poland with Canadian passport. Id also like to point out that for all of your talk about women having agency and being liberated, that youre not actually listening to all of the women who have posted here saying that they do not enjoy being hit on/creeped on/asked out by customers at their place of work and that they just want to do their job without feeling like a Playboy bunny. Asking while she is serving you as an employee violates empowered because she is effectively cornered: she can't step away, she has to serve you. Who do I talk to about putting something on the store's bulletin board? The whole youre great, I want to get to know you, total stranger I buy my latte from is understood by 98% of the population as I want to date you, which is, to 98% of the population, implying sexual interest at some point (and the asexuals I know make it upfront that theyre NOT after a sexual thing). If he doesnt call/text then he isnt interested and you can leave it at that. We met for coffee, later for a meal, and while we never became a couple, we did end up being best friends and we still are to this day. Because to answer the question, there are plenty of opportunities to meet people in the real world that dont rely on one person having to be nice to the other for the sake of their job. Make sure everything is paid for, and walk away immediately after giving her that card. Can you help me?" How To Ask A Cashier Out? - urbnfresh.com Be sincere and respectful in your approach as this will leave a good impression on them and make them more likely to accept your invitation. He told me that he had a girlfriend but they were on the rocks currently. First, make sure that you are respectful and courteous when asking for My brother-in-law met the woman hes about to propose to when he was an employee at a grocery store and she was a customer. And man did that sting. The cashier will also talk to you. Its HER fantasy. Next day I slipped my phone number on a piece of paper, didn't say a word and left. I was also wary for the same reasons you are. I work at Barnes and Noble, and I am shocked at how often I get hit on/asked out. I've asked her out but she says shes not ready. This is so uncomfortable to me. I am 21 years old and living in a large city in Germany where smalltalk in local markets is not a common thing. This will make things even more uncomfortable/annoying for the employee and might even cause her to face a reprimand at work if her employer doesn't fully understand what happened. He will also talk to you. Listen, Im coming out months worth of lurk-hiding just to say: nooooooo! I was looking for posts/comments I made and making sure I not did left some hanging, I agree dont do it. Flirt more. Need help with your relationship? Write your number on a piece of paper, have it ready when you go to the store. Just FYI: I've had male cashiers say things like "Nice to see you again", and it doesn't mean they want to go out with me, ok? I wrote write my info on a small piece of paper and said something as non-pickup-y as possible: If you want to talk more about photography, heres my info or something. She said yes, and since it was 5PM we shared a glance of understanding for a few seconds. As several others already have replied - it depends where you are and the (as yet) unknown chemistry between you and the cashier. This is not okay and very creepy. That doesnt mean that I feel the same way having crude comments shouted at me on the street. I also made sure none of his co-workers or any customers were nearby. Too bad The IT Crowd is off the air, I could totally see them doing a show like this one. (Helpful hint: if hell only text and wont talk on the phone, that is often a sign that he has an SO of some kind). The customer may never know if the employee wasnt interested or just couldnt make it, which can be tough, but it also means the customer cant take it personally. phillist this is what immediately sprung to mind to me when I read this question. There's a reason advances are looked down upon in these situations: it's not about the no/yes, it's about the fact that the likelihood of an honest answer being expected or given in such a situation is low, close to impossible. Ive never worked in retail and dont really have the personality where I would feel comfortable asking somebody out first, but I really like these stories! Unless hes asexual or asking her out for pointedly platonic motivations with zero thought to the possibility of a romantic or sexual relationship ever developing, its basically the same thing. Asking someone out should never sound like a mere business transaction; this could put off anyone from accepting your invitation! Id have to look it up, but I think its actually prohibited at the gym I work at to ask out members. The world has always been creepy, you just werent aware of it. Thanks for sharing your positive experience! A better idea would be to go b No. How To Ask Slightly OT but those ads were my free entertainment when I was unemployed. They do it every Tuesday and Thursday at 7pm - the admission fee is 5 Euro. We laughed and decided best to keep things at friendly store chats. This way, both of you can learn more about each other while also discovering new places at the same time; an enjoyable experience for everyone involved! How would you guys ask someone out at their work? Being a little bit creepy, is okay, if you can't help it (you should), but don't be a stalker. (Then again, he might also think youre a shoplifter, for all I know But probably not.). WebHow To Ask A Cashier Out? If she does not react then forget it. Because of that, it can be easy to However, I would go about this very, very carefully and only do it if you are more than reasonably sure that he feels the same way. No outside videos or links - mods dont have to verify if it follows the rules. How To Ask Out The Cashier? | Relationship Talk The power differential is still theredepending on store management, the customer still may have the power to get this person yelled at/firedbut its a lot less so. Bustle Secretarial positions suck for this, too for what Im sure are the same reasons. However, with a bit of forethought and confidence, you can make it happen in no Giving someone your phone number and saying that its cool if they text you (AND that its cool if they dont) probably helps a lot here, or would help in general. Test more. Surely there is someone out there like me, who is genuine and can take a no.? I think the thing here, is thatlike someone posted upthreadhitting on versus asking out and what constitutes the line between them is subjective. (This doesnt include asking for your number when filling out a form for the job.). As the others have pointed out, you have got a bit of a captive audience and that needs to be respected. Your interaction with the cashier is constrained by work rules (she has to be nice to you) and also social norms. Awkwardness all round. Its not only retail I was once asked out repeatedly by the older brother of one of my students! By the way, having this sort of opening is a big reason boys start rock bands. Thats how its been done forfreakingever. I did think your point about women being discouraged from asking men out was really interesting. And then poof you have a friend, and can still visit the business. Asking is out is just Let me know if youd like to grab coffee sometime. And yes getting asked out does often make me feel uncomfortable if Im not interested.
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