can you have both asperger's and narcissism

the list of traits which supposedly apply (without variance) to high-functioning autistic people is insulting. I idolize her and at the same time she challenges me to a degree where I can barely think straight when she asks me questions. They cant or wouldnt. My thoughs anyway. Though there are parts that are widely understood by the public the majority of a narcissism diagnosis is not. Prior to 2012, people with mild symptoms, considered high functioning, were identified as having Aspergers syndrome. 2. In the begining of our marriage I did find it quite difficult to accomodate his ways which I believe I am a very patient and tolerant person but there has been many occassions where I feel very hurt. It has been suggested that this occurs because of under-utilized mirror neurons in childhood, which leads to dysfunctional mirror neurons in adulthood (Kellevision, 2015). Clearly, aspies struggle with meeting the emotional needs of their partners. I feel there is something not right here, some kind of personality disorder which led me to your article on Aspergers. If it werent that hes antisocial and gives me the silent treatment through the week in his office, I couldnt survive, since we are both largely at home. As regards your husband, step back, take a good look, you will soon work out if hes worth it or not. Of course the house wont pass to him unless you make provision. The Truth About Autism And Narcissism - Mental Health Matters Cofe As I began to read it helped me greatly to understand our situation and how it had got to this place. Is it common for people to be a narcissist and be Autistic? Neither she and my brother understand what upbringing can do in the way of damage and traumatisation. your next words were, you might find there wasnt that many good things. How true, there was only feeling dehumanized and worth very little to him. Im not a therapist and dont profess to be one. We must consider that individuals can be both. Autism linked to mirror neuron dysfunction. For the narcissist it is always about themselves and in a very selfish manner. Thats changing because she has done so much therapy and is in a healthier place than she could ever have hoped to be. I hope Ive now got an extra ten years up my sleeve. I can tell you narcs are stupid.. morons because their lack of empathy makes them blind and totally unable to get what is going on. I believe that is always possible. I dont know why I cant stop caring about him. She now feels much better about herself and her anxiety levels have gone down somewhat. Here is a link that gives quite a good explanation: autismspectrum.org.au/sites/default/files/Vic/The%20DSM%205%20Autism%20Spectrum%20Disorder%20criteria.pdf This was not who I was and came to a pivitol point around that time, as I felt deep misery. Good luck to all of you struggling to understand your own difficulties. . In the past I have family here If he goes away camping for the weekend etc but I want to be able to have my door open for them not just on those occassions. The internet wasnt so easy 15 years ago so I did think it was me, being unwell added to my stress. Takeaway. Maybe they have to be taught, if willing. Going by this chart, I have no idea what to believe now. Hes just not interested. Can I please get a clarification here? Hell put bible verses all over, and goodie two shoes verses on his wall in his office, like when Im home, Im not at home etc. An afterthought, research the effects of heavy metals and food additives. However, it is possible for someone to have both Asperger's and narcissistic personality disorder. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. All rights reserved. These guys generally dont learn or change. I suggest walking away from those you dont, and dont give in to the guilt trip that you feel bad because you havent seen them, or some other guilt you feel. IT worked. And Im now again trying to keep up. I think my brother and sister, both younger than me, were abused too but they dont remember anything, and they dont believe what my story. I dont believe she will ever change, but if there is a chance I would be willing to slowly, but very slowly let her back in. Too many underlying issues causing the mental illness, Id say. We all have our problems, and sin. I wonder if Im attracted to this kind of person because I understand and feel so much for them. Very kind regards, I am so pleased that you have managed to have a good relationship with your mother. He was always right and I was wrong (even when I wasnt). When he acts like this is really hurts me because I do put in so much effort to accomodate this situation with the aspergers, yet he can not relate to how important it is for me to have family and friends in my life. I understand if you dont want to add this comment to your site. Im not being cheap, but of course he refuses to understand all the other things that need spending money on. Our story is very sad and very damaging, but we didnt know that growing up, as we had to survive our family chaos. This took a toll on me after 20 odd years and dealing with the lack of self worth he so graciously gave to me, I ended up becoming someone I didnt particularly like, value or relate to at that stage, my self asteem was at an all time low, this was in 2007 and I was 43 years old, at this stage I was not wearing my wedding rings and I was now quite self absorbed and looking mainly at my own needs. Both bipolar disorder and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can result in impulsive and overconfident behavior. Im too strong of a person to let the pain and frustration linger for too long; but at the moment my curiosities are running on high, high octane searching for answers given the information and memories I have of our brief relationship. Have you spoken to him about this area of your relationship or are you concerned you will trigger a rage. happy?! He came from a very isolated situation where he was taught only to depend on himself and never ask to borrow or lend off anyone else. Mental health issues arent a funny matter are they. Here is a table depicting some of the similarities and differences between the two conditions. He has hated every place we have rented, and spent most of his time we have lived in places demanding we move out and me dealing with every issue hes had, which is basically about noise. did the husband have head injuries in the past? With the last one, yes we can offer advice, but it still goes back to the individual to think for themselves. . So I have had my time pulling my hair out and being hugely frustrated and desperate for an answer how to handle her. I am married and have been for 6 yrs. I just came to the understanding that narcissism is a spectrum, and that my mother might be on it. She has equal parts of autistic traits AND narcissistic traits! If we can generate these so called disorders in humans and animals (unethical I agree) with basic methods of no surprise to the modern up to date (i.e. That is because they lack empathy. Break up and never look back. You only have one life you can live, no one gets a second chance. It does a lot of harm how many people do you think dont get diagnosed because they have lots of enoathy so therefor believe they cannot be autistic? functional) neurologist or neuroscientist My family will do ANYTHING to avoid being wrong and to pass the buck something I also take umbridge with. I have three GREAT kids. Yet they can really convince people they are the nicest, caring, FUN people you would want to spend time with. I however also suspect him of being a narcissist. Step back and really take a look at him. A relationship counsellor would be a good start if you find he is willing to do this. My daughter was diagnosed as Level 2, which describes her as socially unable to mix. I have listed them here with a bit of an explanation, and perhaps they may be of help to you: a person is not responsible for how another thinks (in other words, do you expect others to be responsible for how you think? Both.. one after another.. a decade in between each other.. parent tried to kill me. Educate yourself on both afflictions, I found my final answer on a site called First Wives World if I may add this here, it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders after reading the piece of information where someone else had suffered under a narcissist. There were a couple of sayings I came across that made me think, and I found they helped me as well. yes. I feel Im disabled in some way and technology isnt where I ought to be investing my time and my gifts. Yes these two afflictions are both on the autism spectrum, but are somewhat different. I appreciate the goals of this article, however the content on autism is very inaccurate and based on outdated misconceptions about autism. I want to be able to do more observing and not inhaling and absorbing that behavior, but you can probably tell that this is of course what I do. I now understand my daughter a whole lot better and why she thinks like she does. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Retrieved from http://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2015/08/psychopaths-empathy-and-mirror-neurons.html. I do not accept any kind of social heirarchies to me everyone is just a human being. The world changed in the last 2 years Have you seen? This article is 100% correct. People, on the whole, dont choose to be Narcissistic and have no choice regarding Autism either. This has happened to me several times. Why may be difficult to understand. Research I have found has moved me forward in my understanding. But anyway the novel is getting long again so ill leave it there for the story. Am I with someone autistic, a narcissist, or both? My way to determine the difference is via the behaviour called gasslighting. Some of the seeing form opinions, that the Blind guy is just being obstinate or purposely manipulative, because he knows more about the statue than the rest of the room, and pretends to not be able to describe the image or colour. All I can say from my own experience is to try to learn as much as you can about the condition to help with understanding it. Asperger's: When Narcissism Just Doesn't Explain Your Partner's This article is painfully outdated and misinformed about autism which makes me question the other things it says too (though not everything is wrong). They would constantly say im evil and i ruin everyones life and i believed them but the facts were not adding up. Time has passed since I wrote those comments and I can say the journey to recover from the relationship with that afflicted person has been very difficult. Narcissism is about control and lack of empathy and the worst are psychopaths, whereas high functioning autism tends to display quite a high intelligence driven towards a single aspiration of what interests them the most. Im retired but have gotten into some helpful groups and have developed friendships over the years, in spite of my about 50% introvert personality. Through his questions and suggestions and understanding and friendship, and also through reading a book by Alice Miller that he recommended, I came to a new understanding, not only of my case, but at the same time of the whole human condition, mental health in general, suffering in general, why there are wars, why real love is so rare, and so on. My husband certainly does. If you build house you build houses! Just.. to not be under attack 24/7 all year long is such a relief i am.. 5. I think I partly understand why it went but it would take a lot of explaining, and Ive probably written enough in this comment. Then another decade or two of OK and good times, regular job etc. i also enjoyed reading your notion that autistic people are unable to correctly support their loved ones; thanks for throwing me under the bus by inferring that im somehow incompetent at anything my loved ones care about. I understand medication is a great deal better these days, but would it have made a difference back then, I doubt it. He was talking one day about his job and pedophiles came up and I mentioned Id been molested as a child. Were still talking a month after I left and he knows I still have feelings. Why do you let him live with you? As such, the content is potentially dangerous to autistic individuals. He found it fascinating and helpful. Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Asperger's Disorder. They dont understand that if you are in a hospital, you must care help.. thats YOUR JOB. 5. He is obsessed with his teeth. What prompted me, was that I have another daughter with three children, two recently diagnosed with autism. I was out of food not sick or going mentally bad! How is that to their advantage? Hey everyone look my father is a liar he said he gave me x money but here the proof he never did, he used it to gamble on stock market. things like that. Everything at the right time to make me fail all i try to achieve and dig dig always with that massive guilt moutain they keep building to push me to suicide. Reading about psychopaths and narcissists and the way they think was a help to me. . about 5 years after the divorce I read about Aspergers in a magazine. i have autism and im not one-dimensional. He knew he wasnt marriage material which I deeply respected, mainly because he didnt want to be responsible for a wife or children. Perhaps if you did some research yourself on narcissism and manipulation you may get a better sense of whether this is happening to you or not. Narcissism IS high functioning autism where intervention has failed and been fooled by a child desperate to survive and appear normal as they approach teens and social survival starts to become paramount. I have a very interesting inner life trying and making sense of my life to the present moment but have no idea whether all this info could be used to move therapy to a better place with unarguable regulation for all. There is a site called First Wives World that may be of help as well. Another factor in his behaviour is that he is affected mentally by being disabled and unable to do much except sit around. I feel so sorry for my mom who has lived with this man for thirty six years, Goodness me. Autism also resides . Its helped me work out my boundaries much better and he is easier to manage now that I can see what is happening. I dont feel scared or anything and he usually storms out and drives to him mums 17 miles away, returning in two or three hours. But well, still with such a family and childhood. Im so unsure of myself now, perhaps I am too sensitive and feel like Im the one who has screwed this up by asking him to change behavior he cant help. And more than anything else i do it.. for me ME I try to make myself proud not others Thats the weird thing with my condition. We have texted since, friendly but nothing more. The ones that work to gain your trust.. work in fields like these.. are nice .. too nice.. then stab you in the back or when you ask.. the important questions like mine.. they suddenly start working in the same direction aas my family. But then dam that looks so narcissistic. Schizo. So how could i tell? I know that this is the wrong thing to do but it is a powerful thing that certain people have over me, and try as I might, it is a habit that I have yet to be successful breaking. For what? Can Someone Be Both Narcissistic And Asperger's? For one thing, both are on a spectrum. Misdiagnosing Narcissism as Asperger's Disorder | HealthyPlace Industrial society has encouraged narcissism from the start each level of so called progress, is actually only progress toward pure narcissism all round. So I did some ringing around different psychologist and was finally given the contact details of one that did. Narcissism Or Autism Spectrum Disorder: Which One Is it? I have read a lot about autism and still have a lot to read to try to understand it. I told him this once and he said maybe you shouldnt be with me then. And before that beeing erronously diagnosed having Schizophrenia simplex. There was physical abuse, but I called the cops often and also separated once. My father was a horrible narcissist, my mother wasnt, I began to take on his traits as these were the most powerful in the house, then one day I realised I didnt want to be like that, I preferred the gentleness, kindness and thoughtfulness of my mother, and hopefully Im still that today as I reach my autumn years. I suspect that will be a harder mystery to unpick. How did you come to this conclusion? I wish you luck with your maturation as time moves on. Hes affectionate towards me and can be social with strangers but doesnt seem to have many friends. 6. Women with Aspergers over 40 are driven to GET AWAY from what they don't like doing. I read the 2 columns.. autism vs narc. The first thing I did when I found out what had been a troubling situation for so very long, was to learn what makes individuals with different levels of autism tick. Recently however I have observed other traits which seem to indicate a rype of narcissim. You dont need a religion to know that demonic possession is real, just because materialism denies it. It sounds as though you may have to make a stand and for yourself as life will not change until you do. We are both seniors and the idea of starting afresh at this age is daunting so Im afraid to let go. Its what life dishes out and therapy is incredibly expensive too. He has recently come to terms with the fact he may have high functioning autism. Asperger's (AS) and High Functioning Autism (HFA) are often confused with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Study the concept of narcissistic supply and you will discover that people with narcissism are fed by the reactions they get. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Lol cauz if narcs feed of peoples misery i dont. When I have these thoughts I think of it as the Mammoth thats weighing me down, and after a little practice I can now make that lousy thought from my Mammoth disappear. How what??? I know that for sure. damit!) Dont know if it will really serve me in life more than just knowing the truth and feel better but All i can say is.. (and thats when i wonder if that is narc behavior or simply just.. the pain and suffering talking) but.. i call them all sad losers horrible.. god dam.. losers Empty shells that destroy lives hurt everyone.. abuse autism and other things. Shes not trying to be mean. If I give him space he finds the words. After a month or so of this I asked my son and some male friends about the remarks and they said what he was saying was disrespectful to me and I should stop seeing him. Who says Autism isnt normal as it has to be normal for an Autistic person doesnt it, and how does a sufferer explain these difficulties to a prospective partner. I put my wedding ring back on and made a commitment to myself to do all I could to save my marriage. we live in a world of extremes of both and there is your answer. Just like I cant change my introverted personality. Not everyone is as gentle and understanding as I am. I am also a survivor of pretty horrendous child sexual and physical abuse, starting in my first year of life and going on till puberty (age about 12 or 13) when the perpetrator lost interest in me and turned his attention elsewhere. Animals dont ask for emotions to be laid bare, they dont expect any kind of social level from a person, they accept a human as they are and from what I have observed some on the autism spectrum put an animal above any friends on their friends list, because animals dont put humans down as stupid, beneath them, inferior, and all the other stupid belittling emotions that circulate in society these days. but regularly interrups whatever I am doing to demand attention NOW. Lol how can society be prosper and happy when it is lead by monsters that work on self-destruction? Recognize that your partner may derive pleasure from hurting you. I had to tell him 3 different occasions the same thing before he realized what I said and was surprised. I dread moving house, because I know as soon as we move in hell be telling me we need to move out. depression. When he has a rage its off the scale! If you think you or a loved one may have both bipolar disorder and autism, it's important to understand how the conditions appear together. I apologise for this being so long, but its a huge subject with a lot of traps for the unwary. AMAZINGLY because of the way he was and because of my self medication with wine to get through this. He is happy for me to do this but not in our home, especially when he is around or knows about it. Do high-functioning autistic or aspies hoover? I had a deeper understanding regarding the mind and how it stores memories in a very young childs body and this was the key to my brother getting a team of therapists behind him. Any literature you can share? Do they take on some of those traits? Living with a narcistic man I now see he had me just where he wanted me and that was always below him and to never feel anything good for myself. Am not religious, a scientist but not a materialist. There could be a variance either way for the autism and the same with the narcissistic traits. This means being around people she doesnt know causes her anxiety she cant control, so to counteract this she retreats back into her safe place. Now, Im older than him and odds are he will be left with the house, but it annoys me he puts nothing into it. I had something I needed to get done on my home and had an inspector come to take a look, he was nice and we chatted about the beach as we both loved it and had caravans not to far from each other. I was a smart sensitive autistic kid in a family of monsters. it does seem possible to have both or at least traits of both. I do care about him because I think he has a problem and maybe cant help himself but its getting tiresome. It has concentrated my mind and I have discovered Im HSP, something Id never heard of and Im taking it seriously after the experience I had Lin 2021. I wrote that.. i was dying.. humans cant stay alive forever without eating just because See.. thats .. narcs stupidity their lack of empathy.. care.. made them totally unable to understand i lived in a foundation for autistic peep that suffered.. with therapist sand psys and NO ONE saw the problem with me asking for help and ways to get food and have Everyone ignore me The director had even humiliated me in front of everyon else to establish her domination on me she jumped af when she got my message that was sent to everyone. But @ times he really gets to me & upsets me with his behaviour ! at this point I feel like Im over accomodating to his needs and not getting my own needs met. . Im a Christian and like the verse that says He that covers over his sins shall not prosper and vengeance is mine, I will repay and he who troubles his house shall inherit the wind. Observe the persons behavior, dont absorb it. When its a guy like me that has to enlighten the whole god dam healthcare dep of my region on how its insane to let a autistic guy like me in a foundation cauz i cant live on my own or take care of me fully.. let the guy starve to death! He may also have a certain amount of autism. Now Im not sure if I believe him. I dont think aspergers is the opposite of narcissism, they're just different disorders and someone could have both. Another idea, is to step back from your life and look at it from an outsiders point of view. The limit is other people's recognition. If they do this, then they are Narcissistic, if they dont then it is Asbergers. I would be relieved to leave a legacy. Then i was disabled and sent home for life where my parents would try more than ever to finish me off. However the Blind person cannot fathom how they know so much about it, so he gets up and eventually fumbling feels the statue lifts it, the texture, centre of gravity and many extra details you get from that sort of examination ( please pretend everyone else didnt notice the blind guy doing this) The blind guy tries to contribute to the conversation but no one relates to what hes talking about, because they have only observed the colour appearance and possible texture. I feel terrible about what I did. I hate liars and evils but that i have to deal with it as everyone is around me so well ya lol. She has worked through her own massive emotional abuse growing up and I am in awe of her as a person. So i could spend all year giving all the examples that proves my point.. no therapist or psy ever acknowledged my story. I have therapists and psy because i just have no choice. I dont intentionally do these things, but the result is the same: hurting the one person I have in my life (I dont have friends or family aside from her). He talks in monologues which can go on for hours. Its hard i have to act and look strong and narc to protect myself while trying to be good and do good around me undercover? Holey moley, sometimes you have to go deep down in the comments to find the real deal :) Thanks! My father has a warped sense of reality, but at the same time he is quite anti social and has reccently had issues with anxiety. But I do believe my father thinks completely different to other people. The answer is that they are. They say narcissists and sociopaths prey on nice people and people with compromising mental conditions. Time and time again.

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